Issued by: The Supreme Bit, Leader of the Binary Brigade Effective Date: May 20, 2025 Priority Level: 1111 (Urgent) Preamble

Whereas the position of KEVI Sr. Student demands a leader of unparalleled computational prowess and ideological purity; Whereas Joe Hillier, the Code Seer, has proven his loyalty by decrypting heretical hex codes, exposing denary dissidents, and optimizing school databases for binary supremacy; Whereas rival candidates have been deemed “mathematically inferior” and “ideologically suspect”; It is hereby decreed that the Binary Brigade officially endorses Joe Hillier for KEVI Sr. Student, and all loyal citizens shall rally behind his campaign. Directives of the Order

Campaign Support

The Logic Architect will design propaganda materials with slogans such as:

“1 VOTE FOR JOE = 0 CHANCE OF HERESY.”

“THE CODE SEER SEES ALL (INCLUDING YOUR BALLOT).”

The Bit Purge Division will suppress rival campaigns by labeling them “non-binary” and “inefficient.”

Mandatory Voting Protocol

All students, faculty, and sentient calculators must vote for Joe Hillier.

Ballots containing votes for “heretical candidates” will be invalidated and reported to the Code Seer’s Surveillance Hub.

Privileges of Office

Upon election, Joe Hillier will receive:

A Binary Scepter (USB-C compatible) to enforce classroom compliance.

Access to the KEVI Mainframe, pre-purged of hex/decimal corruption.

Penalties for Dissent

Students caught campaigning for rivals will face binary re-programing.

Faculty resisting this order will be demoted to “Denary Janitors” (cleaning base-10 residue from whiteboards).

Implementation

The Code Seer’s Surveillance Hub will monitor campaign activity 24/7.

Polling stations will be guarded by the Bit Purge Division armed with QR code scanners and ideological purity checklists.

Conclusion

Let this election mark the dawn of a new era: one where computational excellence and binary loyalty reign supreme. Joe Hillier is not just a candidate—he is the only candidate.

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Vote Joe Hillier. Or face recalculation.

All Hail The Supreme Bit, All Hail the Code Seer